i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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