i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She made me pour olive oil on her.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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