Whod you bang
She's JV to your varsity
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
