She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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