I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
