STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
bring money and cleavage
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize