So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
