Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
