Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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