...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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