Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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