she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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