I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Floor bacon is actually really good
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
