either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Randomize
