I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
