Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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