I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
