Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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