just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
