Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
