I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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