just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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