Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
