well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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