So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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