I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
