Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
