once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize