My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
