I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think I just sharted jello shots
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