Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
