***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
