So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
