are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
