I puked a lego.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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