Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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