Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
