Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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