I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
