the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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