why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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