He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize