you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
