I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
