these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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