Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
