I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize