you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
