Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
