Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
