Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
