Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
