Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Randomize