Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
