Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
