He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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