Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
