Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
