today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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